Josh: 'Cause Every Girl's Crazy 'Bout A Sharp Dressed European Minion Taking On John McClane In Nakatomi Tower (Cue ZZ Top Guitar Riff)

Mary and I were just getting into the car to head over to the Hollis Nursing Home while we still had a little daylight when she told me that I looked like Josh with freshly-shorn blond hair. This was bad, as the entire purpose of a disguise is that I not look like Josh at all. We then decided that on the way back to Hollis Crossroads we'd stop at one of those men's suit stores and get me a few new outfits.

An hour of measuring, modeling and bitching later (definitely not in that order) I strutted to the car wearing a sleek new suit and tie. Even though the shopping was over, the bitching most certainly was not.

ME: I look absolutely ridiculous. With this hair and suit I look like one of Alan Rickman's Eurotrash henchmen from Die Hard.

MARY: Who's Adam Rickman?

ME: How can you possibly not know-

MARY: Because I have a job?

ME: Touche. I tell you what, by the end of this week I will have educated you on the greatest action movie villains of all time. No need to thank me.

MARY: Fabulous. And then maybe I'll show you what a W2 form looks like.

The only reason I couldn't think of a good comeback was because I have a concussion. Now we're on our way to the nursing home.

Mary: Name That Tune

October 29th, 2008: An hour later Josh woke up, thankfully. I was worried he might lapse into a coma and I would have to take him to the hospital where he would be treated and arrested. While he showered I went out to the nearest drug store and picked up some supplies: a wrist brace, ace bandages, painkillers, rubbing alcohol, first aid kit, shaving kit and hair dye. When I returned to the room I had Josh shave those sideburns back to the mid-90's from whence they came (at right), then dyed his hair blond, something that's going to take quite a bit of getting used to. While I rubbed the dye into his scalp, I heard him humming a little tune and froze.

"That song... why are you singing that?"

Josh put a hand to his forehead to keep the solution from running into his eyes. "What? Oh, I don't know. Didn't know I was doing it. Come on, this crap is getting all in my face, can you finish?"

I didn't move. "Where did you hear it?"

He shrugged. "Hell, I don't know, it's just a children's-" he turned to look up and back at me, the dye running down his neck. "The old man. It was the song he was humming right before I shot him. I know the tune, it's something I absolutely should know-"

"I know it. What you said about the smiles of the old man's helpers... that you'd seen those exact smiles before... I have to call Milwaukee. I think perhaps our murdered witness might not have been so random. Perhaps the attack happened there on that corner specifically so she could see it.

"The song he was humming was Bingo."