Mary: Stuck Down Under

We made it out of the hotel, and they hadn't yet frozen all of Josh's accounts because he managed to get a few thousand in cash and another quarter of a million in bearer bonds. There's a good chance that that might be all we can withdraw out of all the money Leopold left him, at least for now.

Better not to push it at this point, I think, because money is not our top priority at the moment. Josh and I need to get to Japan, and without passports that's going to be impossible. We'd love to find a forger here in Australia, but going in without any contacts would be problematic at best. We've used up the raw materials Leopold gave us just to make these last fake identities, so for the moment we're stuck in-country.

I will say, though, that of all places to be trapped, we could do a lot worse than the city of Adelaide. It's right on the ocean, beautiful and as a big plus for us it has a large immigrant population so Josh and I don't stick out too much.

Sooner or later, though, we're going to have to present some I.D. Ideas, anyone?

Josh: Like Looking For A Needle In Something Watery And Ocean-Sized

Damn. Mom, I am so sorry. Look, I'm not going to let Jeff rot in prison forever. We're going to do our best here to recover the knife, but if we can't do it- if it looks like we're getting nowhere I'll turn myself in.

I never even thanked him for saving your life. Too busy, too much else going on... and I guess I just took him for granted a little bit. Man, I can't believe this. Just try and hang on, Mom. I'm sure you'll be able to get another caretaker who's less of an *sshole, and hopefully we'll have this thing wrapped up soon so you can get Jeff back.

I wish we had some more promising news, but Mary, Keane, Lachlan and I just spent the entire day puttering around Wardang Island and up and down the coast looking for the Liberator with no luck. I'm not sure what we expected to find as we're only here on the thinnest excuse for a hunch anyway, but we'll get right back at it tomorrow. There were lots of whales, which was awesome, though I didn't see any of them because Keane wore a bikini top the whole time and the sea was bouncy. Er, rough. The sea was rough. I was told about the whales, though, and that's what's important.

After we spent the day out at sea we went back to Keane's trailer for some "barbie" and "tinnies", or bbq and cans of beer. You know, for white people who purport to speak English, these Aussies go pretty far out of their way to obscurify their lingo (which is probably a cross between a lemur and a dingo in this "alternate Earth" language. And by the way, a dingo is just a damn dog. What, "dog" wasn't short and to the point enough? Jerks.)

Any ideas you guys might have as to where or how to find this damn boat, don't keep them inside. Frankly, we're flailing a bit here. I had just kind've hoped that we would have stumbled onto it somehow, but... not to be, at least not yet.

Mary: Have You Ever Even Been To A Ballgame?

That's not a scorecard. A scorecard has the players clearly written on it. That was a timeline/recap fully infected and overcome with parenthesis.

Scorecard:

-The Driver

-The Old Man

-The Old Man's Third Assistant-remember, Tanaka said that there was a third helper holding him down when he was paralyzed.

-The Australian-the one who left the note at the storage locker.


We're just leaving for the nursing home now. Wish us luck.

Josh: Dr. Ian Malcolm: "The Lack Of Humility Before Nature That's Being Displayed Here, Uh... Staggers Me."

I admit even I was a little skeptical about how I would learn about a rabbit disease in a philosophy class, but it was how the disease arrived in Australia that was the subject of that particular lecture. Rabbit hemorrhagic disease virus, or as it is more properly known, Rabbit Calicivirus Disease started in the Orient in the mid-80's and spread to Europe, wiping out huge populations of rabbits. Meanwhile, in Australia, their rabbit population was absolutely exploding. Australia is the poster boy for runaway animal populations since those filthy criminals that took over the place didn't care what they brought into the ecosystem (for example, they've got hideous cane toads the size of cinder blocks over there squatting on every golf course. Speaking as a non-golfer I find this horrible tragedy utterly hilarious. Below: cane toad. Just try sinking a fifteen-foot putt with that thing staring at you).

Long story longer, the Aussies decide that since they are being overrun by rabbits, they'll consider importing the Rabbit Calcivirus Disease. First, though, they want a rigorous testing process, so they set-up shop off-shore of Port Victoria on a spit of land called Wardang Island. To make sure that the disease is contained so there's no way it can hit the mainland, they set up a quarantine area with double, rabbit and predator-proof fences. They divided into two teams of workers, one for infected rabbits, one for the control group. Insect-suppression was a priority to keep the disease from being transmitted via mosquito. They even had rigid protocols for how to handle the scientist's clothing, disinfecting or destroying all fabric that came in contact with infected rabbits. In short, they built a laboratory that was absolutely foolproof, with no chance that the disease could possibly reach the mainland rabbit population.

What happened? As my giggling Philosopher professor gleefully pointed out, nature happened. "It was just like Jurassic Park, but with bunnies!" he tittered, food bits flying out of his beard. Philosophers just love it when those cocky scientists get it handed to them.

Somehow, the disease made its way to Port Victoria, and from there spread out over the entire continent, wiping out millions and millions of rabbits. The estimated death rate was a stunning ninety-five percent of all Australian rabbits. The reaction of the Australian government (in between holes as they used fork-lifts to move the cane toads off the greens) was a collective shrug. They wanted less rabbits, they got less rabbits. The fact that it didn't happen quite as they wanted it to happen was incidental.

Why is all this crap important? Well, they worked on that virus for three years before it got out, and for all I know they're still doing tests. Perhaps the scientists on Wardang Island can at least identify whether or not the strain of Rabbit Calcivirus Disease from the rabbit's foot found at the crime scene is from Australia, Europe or China. I know it's still an impossibly wide field, but if we can eliminate two continents from our search, I think it's time well spent.

Josh: I Was Going To Include A Picture, But I Did A Web Search For "Philosophy+Useless" And Just Got Depressed At How Many Entries There Were

For whatever reason, I think I've actually read about some disease wiping out millions of rabbits in Australia. Why-as a Philosophy grad-I believe I've learned something useful to us, I don't know. I'm going to pore over some of my texts and see what I can find.

My mother saying she's experiencing "difficulties" is like anyone else sending up flares and arranging their laundry by the seashore in the shape of the word, "HELP!" Mom, if you need anything, please just let me know and I'll be there.