Josh: Dr. Ian Malcolm: "The Lack Of Humility Before Nature That's Being Displayed Here, Uh... Staggers Me."

I admit even I was a little skeptical about how I would learn about a rabbit disease in a philosophy class, but it was how the disease arrived in Australia that was the subject of that particular lecture. Rabbit hemorrhagic disease virus, or as it is more properly known, Rabbit Calicivirus Disease started in the Orient in the mid-80's and spread to Europe, wiping out huge populations of rabbits. Meanwhile, in Australia, their rabbit population was absolutely exploding. Australia is the poster boy for runaway animal populations since those filthy criminals that took over the place didn't care what they brought into the ecosystem (for example, they've got hideous cane toads the size of cinder blocks over there squatting on every golf course. Speaking as a non-golfer I find this horrible tragedy utterly hilarious. Below: cane toad. Just try sinking a fifteen-foot putt with that thing staring at you).

Long story longer, the Aussies decide that since they are being overrun by rabbits, they'll consider importing the Rabbit Calcivirus Disease. First, though, they want a rigorous testing process, so they set-up shop off-shore of Port Victoria on a spit of land called Wardang Island. To make sure that the disease is contained so there's no way it can hit the mainland, they set up a quarantine area with double, rabbit and predator-proof fences. They divided into two teams of workers, one for infected rabbits, one for the control group. Insect-suppression was a priority to keep the disease from being transmitted via mosquito. They even had rigid protocols for how to handle the scientist's clothing, disinfecting or destroying all fabric that came in contact with infected rabbits. In short, they built a laboratory that was absolutely foolproof, with no chance that the disease could possibly reach the mainland rabbit population.

What happened? As my giggling Philosopher professor gleefully pointed out, nature happened. "It was just like Jurassic Park, but with bunnies!" he tittered, food bits flying out of his beard. Philosophers just love it when those cocky scientists get it handed to them.

Somehow, the disease made its way to Port Victoria, and from there spread out over the entire continent, wiping out millions and millions of rabbits. The estimated death rate was a stunning ninety-five percent of all Australian rabbits. The reaction of the Australian government (in between holes as they used fork-lifts to move the cane toads off the greens) was a collective shrug. They wanted less rabbits, they got less rabbits. The fact that it didn't happen quite as they wanted it to happen was incidental.

Why is all this crap important? Well, they worked on that virus for three years before it got out, and for all I know they're still doing tests. Perhaps the scientists on Wardang Island can at least identify whether or not the strain of Rabbit Calcivirus Disease from the rabbit's foot found at the crime scene is from Australia, Europe or China. I know it's still an impossibly wide field, but if we can eliminate two continents from our search, I think it's time well spent.