Josh: The Captain's Tale

JOSH: I can't take it anymore. Why is this boat called the Dial Up?

FIRST MATE MOCHIZUKI: The Captain was a very wealthy man. He pursued and received his Captain's license merely so he could sail his yacht. He and his business partner owned one of the largest dial up Internet companies in the '90's, then when it was clear that broadband was next, the Captain wanted to upgrade while his partner insisted that no one would pay for high speed Internet. When the bubble burst, the Captain got out right at the very end, using the last of his money to make certain that his employees were paid what they were owed. His business partner kept his half of the money instead of paying. Just to make ends meet, the Captain was forced to go to his wife and ask her family to loan him the money to buy this boat. She did, but as a condition she made him christen it the Dial Up as a reminder of his failure.

JOSH: Owwwww.

MOCHIZUKI: Hai.

JOSH: So his wife is waiting for him back in port?

MOCHIZUKI: No. Last year she left him- for the business partner.

JOSH: And in the end, she and the partner got in a fiery car accident and died, right? That creepy girl from The Ring sucked them through a TV? Tell me something terrible happened to them.

MOCHIZUKI: No.

JOSH: That ain't right.

MOCHIZUKI: No.

JOSH: He has his honor, though. That's got to be worth a lot in your culture, hm?

MOCHIZUKI: Not as much as it once was. Not nearly as much.


After this fantastically uplifting conversation, I scurried back to Mary in our cabin and curled in next to her, a shaft of moonlight spearing down at the foot of our bed through the porthole. "Mary, if I ever have a business, and my business partner is a jerk and I have to buy a boat, don't make me name it something nasty, okay?"

"I don't see you as ever having a boat. Or a business partner. Or a business."

"Er, okay. That makes me feel so much better."

She grinned. "And if you did, you'd probably name it the 'Pwned' or the 'Mace Windu' or the-"

"That guy did everything right. He knew what do to, he was loyal to his friend and he paid his people what he owed. He did everything right and g*ot totally screwed." I propped myself up on an elbow and looked down at her, her face looking like a beautiful statue in the moonlight. "We might lose, Mary. We could do everything we need to do and the Magician might still end the world."

She gave the perfect answer- the one I needed to hear. She kissed me.

Afterward, I leapt up in amazement. "You know who Mace Windu is! You nerd!"

Mary covered her face with her hands in mock-shame while I did an enormously awkward and un-sexy naked victory dance next to the bed. Finally I crawled back in and spooned behind her. "The 'Mace Windu' wouldn't be a bad name for a sailboat."

"Goodnight, Josh."

"Goodnight, Mary."